Okay, I’ve only been blogging for six months now, and it seems a little premature to be creating lists of my favourite toys already. But I’ve been thinking a lot about doing an end of year wrap up, so I’ve decided to go for it anyway. This, if nothing else, is a testament to my intention to continue blogging about sex and sex toys for years to come. Not only is it a list of my favourite orgasm inducing robots, it’s also a reflection on my first six months and how I hope to proceed. To get started, here’s my little win list from my very limited selection of toys. This list is completely biased by the toys I happen to have been sent or purchased myself (it’s good to know your own bias). There are many many more great products out there, and many more great sex bloggers writing their “best of the year” post. However, I hope my little list will cast some light on the small selection I have reviewed that I think really deserve to shine. With no further ado, in no particular order, here’s
My Top Sex Toy Picks of 2016:
1. Rocks-Off Ignition Bullet
To start things off, it just had to be a bullet. Just look at how beautiful the rocks-off ignition bullet is in the sunshine! I was looking for a rechargeable bullet and I am so glad that I picked this one! It’s vibrations are perfect for me, not too harsh and powerful, not buzzy at all. The charge lasts ages. It’s really light and easy to hold. There really isn’t much not to like about this toy! Unlike some of its competitors, rocks-off have priced their star bullet very reasonably (around £30) for such a high quality toy. For me this is really important, when there seems to be an arms race by some companies over who can over-charge the most for “luxury”. Rocks-off you ignited my heart with this bullet, I’m sure it will be a favourite for long time. You can read my full review here or buy your own ignition bullet here or here or here or here or just about anywhere right now this little vibe is so popular!
2. Miss VV’s Mystery Miss on the Go Kegel Exerciser
I never thought kegel exercise could be so fun, but Miss on the go completely changed the way I feel about them. Not only have Miss VV’s Mystery created a fantastic high-quality toy, with a great battery life, medical-grade silicone and a rumbly delicious motor, they took the time to make a fun and interactive app too! Allowing someone else to control the vibrations, and being able to write to them, send them feedback and sexy photos transforms Miss on the go from a kegel work out to a genious foreplay tool. Even without the app, the gentle and pretty much silent vibrations encourage me to engage the correct kegel muscles and work them properly. I’ve got to say I am impressed. You can read my full review here. You can buy them direct from Miss VV’s Mystery here.
3. Womanizer pro 40
I absolutely adore my womanizer pro 40! It’s the first toy I grab and orgasms are almost too easy using it. I would really recommend this toy to anyone who has a clit, whatever kind of stimulation you usually like. It is waterproof, its battery lasts for ages, and being able to up and down the intensity of suction with a simple click of a button allows me to perfectly tailor what I need to edge towards the most blissful of orgasm. I use this toy both when I need a quick fix, and when I want a long drawn out session. The lowest setting is so gentle it can get me there so gradually the eventual climax is explosive. You can read my full review here. If you’d like to treat yourself or the clit in your life to intense pleasure you can buy your own here.
4. Rocks-off Petite Sensations Bubbles Butt Plug
This list wouldn’t be complete without an anal toy! My favourite so far is the petite sensation bubbles butt plug from rocks-off. I use it with my rechargeable ignition bullet rather than the RO-80mm one that it came with (although this is still a fantastic bullet, I just prefer not to bother with the batteries). The shape of this butt plug is perfect for me; it’s not too wide or long and it’s neck is nice and narrow so it’s comfortable for an anal newbie like myself (I’m not sure when I’ll stop referring to myself as a beginner. I feel like experts progress in size, but I don’t find myself wanting anything bigger than the beginner plugs I’ve got). The vibrations travel through the wonderful silicone, but are focused around the base where all the extra sensitive nerve endings are. I even get perineum stimulation with this toy! The bottom line (pun totally intended) is bubbles is the plug I will reach for whenever I want some anal stimulation. And again, this plug is really reasonably priced with an RRP of £19.99, for which you get a fantastic multi-speed bullet and silicone butt plug. Great job, rocks-off! You can read my full review here and you can buy petite sensations bubbles butt plug here.
5. Lovehoney Mötley Crüe Classic Vibrator
“He’s the one who’ll make you feel good!” Whether you love, hate, or are indifferent to Mötley Crüe, Lovehoney made an awesome classic vibe with their branding. If you’re more into Mötorhead you can get it with their branding instead. This is seriously the most powerful thing I have ever put in to my vagina. The pulsating patterns rattle against my pelvic bones. In a good way. The vibrations are deep, the toy is solid and easy to use, and it gives me the quickest G-spot orgasms out of all the vibes I own. Bottom line is, I don’t care what kind of music you are into, you’ll want this in your vagina! You can read my full review here and buy it from Lovehoney here.
6. Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator
Finally, it’s the Desire Clitoral Vibrator from Lovehoney. This vibe has already won awards from Good Housekeeping, and it’s clear to me now why. I got it as the extra special treat for door number 24 of my Lovehoney advent calendar. Although I didn’t get it in its lovely packaging and purple colour, it still made a great impression. It’s made from wonderful soft silicone, its rechargeable, waterproof and it’s a great shape. I actually find it quite hard to define what exactly it is that makes this toy feel so good, it’s somehow warm and cosy and comforting. It gives me pleasure, but in a really friendly way. It’s not difficult to orgasm with it at all, but neither is the feeling very intense. Pair this toy with a warm bath and you’ll be in relaxation bliss. You can read my full review from the advent calendar here. You can buy yourself a vibrating treat in the form of the Desire Clitoral Vibrator from Lovehoney here.
Still on My Lust-List
There are a few special toys which have caught my eye in 2016, which due to lack of funds this year I have been unable to buy and test. They have been raved about by trusted sex toy reviewers and bloggers, making my lust grow even more. Anyone with a wishlist has probably had this feeling, particularly for high-end toys which (for me) cost more than my salary will allow. These particular toys are appealing to me because of the kind of stimulation I enjoy, again there are many more top toys out there that don’t interest me as much. So here they are, perhaps by the time I wrap up 2017 I’ll have a few of them:
1. Doxy Die Cast Wand Vibrator
Top of my list, this beautiful wand seems to be a firm favourite with many bloggers, and as such I really want to try it. I regularly use my Lovehoney Deluxe Magic wand for back massage, and occasional masturbation with an attachment (it doesn’t quite work for me to use without attachments during fun solo play). Although I like the Lovehoney wand, I haven’t got on with it as brilliantly as other toys. From what I’ve heard about the Doxy Die Cast, it ticks all the right boxes of mains-powered wand perfection. I’d really like to see for myself if that is true. Find out what other great reviewers are saying (or raving) about it: Hedonish, A couple of Kinks, Oh joy sex toy, Scandarella, Voluptasse, Carnal Queen, Cara Sutra, Slutty Girl Problems, Emmeline Peaches and Dangerous Lilly. You can buy it here or here or here or here.
2. L’Amourose Prism V Prostate and G-Spot Vibrator
I think this vibe is simply beautiful to look at, it’s a lovely textured design with a gentle curve to it I’m sure my g-spot would love. Again, this toy has had great reviews from other bloggers that I trust. I also feel like my toy box is really lacking in a great G-spot vibe; my go to vibes are classic, although I have some cheaper curved vibes, they don’t pack the same power as my classic ones so they don’t often get used nowadays. I think a good quality and beautiful vibe like the Prism is just what I’m looking for. Here’s to hoping one day I’ll get to try it out! Read what other bloggers thought of it: Naked at our Age, Bex Talks Sex, Ninja Sexology, A roll in the hay, Little Switch Bitch on The Cara Sutra, Toy Meets Girl, Dangerous Lilly, and The Big Gay Review. You can buy your own here.
3. Fun Factory Cayona Mini G-Spot Vibrator
This is another beautiful G-spot vibe, this time a mini one. Fun factory are a respected sex toy manufacturer, and sadly I’ve yet to have the pleasure of trying any of their products. Like the Prism V, one of my main reasons for wanting this toy is its appearance. It looks like a great shape for hitting my G-spot, which isn’t particularly deep so the mini design may be perfect for me. I really really love that if you look at this toy from the top, it kind of looks like a vulva. Whether intentionally or not, a phallic toy that looks like a vulva and is beautiful is exactly the kind of toy I’d like to try! I can’t find many reviews for it, perhaps Fun Factory didn’t give out many samples, or maybe it hasn’t peaked the same interest with other bloggers as it did me. You can read reviews from Toraval on The Cara Sutra and Apricot Creams. Buy it in beautiful blue here.
4. We-Vibe Sync Couple’s Vibrator
We-Vibe released their brand new model of couple’s vibrator just in time for the Christmas sales, and I’ve got to say it looks like their best version yet. I’ve been watching We-Vibe’s journey closely, ever since they released their very first vibe, and I’ve been really impressed with how they took on board the criticism of sex toy bloggers and customers to improve on their design. Most importantly, they’ve made it adjustable to help it fit more people’s anatomy. The We-vibe sync is the result of all that re-designing, and I’d really like to give it a whirl. You can read reviews from Little Switch Bitch, Random Red Rose, Nymphomaniac Ness, Cara Sutra, Sex Bloggess, Dangerous Lilly, and Emmeline Peaches. You can buy it here or here or here.
I’ve got a little collection of lovely sex toys that are due for a full write up in the near future. A few I’ve had a long while and I’m struggling to make up my mind about them before putting it all down on paper. Some I’ve only just received and a few are in transit. Here’s what you can look forward to in early 2017:
1. Mystery Vibe Cresendo
2. SVAKOM Amy
3. We-Vibe 4 plus
4. We-Vibe Tango bullet pleasure mates collection
5. SVAKOM Siime Eye
6. SVAKOM Lester
What I have learnt so far
As I said right at the beginning of this long-ass post, I’ve been blogging now for about 6 months. I’ve published 62 posts so far (this will be number 63), so I’m roughly writing 10 posts a month, not counting the extra ones I’ve done for Frolika and The Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel and the Lovehoney reviews that don’t make the blog. I’ve learnt a lot in this time. What started off as an outlet for me to share some erotica and reviews of the very few sex toys I own has turned into a full-time hobby. I’ve learnt that I really love blogging, and although my dyslexia can sometimes hold me back, making me slow and miss even the most obvious of typos I’ve found true enjoyment with writing these pieces. Probably the most fulfilling for me to write are my personal opinion pieces. They are very personal and close to my heart, even if it sounds like I’m just joking about my legs being able to talk. I’ve got many more topics I would like to explore, and I really wish I had the time to write more. The blog has ignited my love of writing, which was always there in the background. I’ve opened up more than I ever thought I would. Talking about my sexual assault for the first time publicly, if anonymously, was a big step for me.
Blogging provides me an escape from a job that I don’t like, although there is a downside to that. I’m underperforming at work more than ever since I started blogging, and I’m considering changing career because of the anxiety this provokes. I’ve also learnt that I am really really bad at advertisement. In six months I have earnt a grand total of £2.50 from affiliate sales (big thanks to the two people who used my links to make a purchase, you’re amazing!). Which actually equates to nothing because you need to earn a minimum of £20 for a pay-out. I think one problem is I really don’t like advertising on social media. It feels awkward and wrong, so I don’t do it very often. Being so poor at this means my blog costs me money, both in paying for the domain and for things like shipment of sex toys from my giveaway (yep, that came out of my pocket). Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blog for money and I loved hosting the giveaway, I really enjoyed being able to give away great sex toy prizes, hopefully to people who will appreciate them. I’m hopeful that one day the blog will be able to break even though, and I’ll enjoy blogging all the more for it.
I also realise I am a small blogger in a great big sea of fantastic bloggers, and it is unlikely that my little blog will gain much attention. This is something I’ve learnt and come to peace with. I was never any good at popularity contests, and that is unlikely to change. What I will do is continue to provide content I’m proud of, be it reviews, fiction, or an opinion, to the best of my ability, and hope that the people who do read my blog will learn something or relate in a positive way.
Lets end this on a positive note! These six months have been great! I’ve learnt a lot about myself, not just the sex blogging world. I’m excited for 2017 and continuing my blogging journey. What I’d really love to do is write a full erotica novella. Here’s to hoping I find the time and the inspiration to do so! If you’ve made it this far through the post, thank you! A huge and sincere thanks to all the people who read the blog, especially those who follow it and comment and like my posts on social media. It really means a lot to me to know that there are people out there listening.
Happy New Year Everyone!