Over the years I have become a bit of a sex toy snob. It wasn’t until Lovehoney sent me the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator that I truly realised what a judgemental snob I have become. The happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator ticks all the boxes that I look for in vibrating sex toys: it’s silicone, rechargeable and waterproof. Yet I took one look at its flimsy cardboard box, heard its over-powered buzzy clitoral bunny ears, and had a giggle at it’s comical rotating head flailing around and I almost dismissed it all together. I thought I was going to write a scathing review about it’s mediocrity. You see, I’ve gotten used to lovely packaging, with storage cases included, and vibes that quietly rumble when you first turn them on. I was unfairly judgemental of the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator. Luckily, my vagina isn’t such a snob.

 

Packaging

The happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator is packaged in a simple white cardboard box. It’s flimsy and will tare easily, so it’s not ideal for long term storage. I threw it away almost immediately. The front has a nice picture of the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator and a little gold symbol with five stars, claiming over 500,00 sold since 2012. I’m guessing this refers to all the happy rabbit models grouped together (you can view the current ones here; many have been discontinued), as the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator has only just launched. The five stars are meaningless really, since like all sex toys, there are both positive and negative reviews of the happy rabbit products, but nevertheless, it is a popular brand. On the back of the toy is a little blurb and a description of the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator’s features. Inside the box the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator sits nestled in a flimsy plastic mould, with its USB charging cable and a little multilingual instruction booklet.

Charging

The happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator is USB rechargeable. There is a large hole in the back that the wide pin charger plugs into, then the other end will go into any USB port. I used a wall charger.

Above the charging port is a little LED. It comes on red when the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator is charging and will turn green once it is fully charged. I like this system because it is easy to remember, and unless you are red/green colour blind it is pretty obvious when the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator is charged. The instructions say it takes 2.5 hours to fully charge, mine was charged in about an hour so I’m guessing it comes with a little charge already.

One cool thing about the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator that I haven’t seen on my other rabbit vibrators is that the base of the rabbit is completely flat and made from plastic. This means if you put it on a flat surface it will actually stand upright nicely with no problems. This is great, both for charging and for air drying after use.

Controls and features

Although it is called a vibrator, the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator only vibrates in the clitoral bunny ears part. The shaft is a rotator, not a vibrator. The whole of the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator (except for the base and controls) is coated in a lovely dark pink silicone, which although I can make out a faint seam running along the length of the shaft, feels wonderfully soft and smooth with relatively little friction. There is a shiny silver piece of plastic that separates the top part of the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator from the controls and charging port, and the two control buttons are made from the same silver plastic.

The controls are in a fun exclamation point and are easy enough to use, if not a little cumbersome. The small lower circle operates the vibrating clitoral bunny ears, the larger top line operates the rotating shaft. If you hold down both buttons together for two seconds or so the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator will give two quick bursts of vibration, meaning the travel lock is activated. If you want to unlock the toy, you’ll need to hold down both buttons again. Charging the toy will also unlock it. The thing that’s a bit annoying (and confusing as to why it would be designed this way) is that when in travel lock mode, pressing any one of the buttons makes it repeat its double vibrate, as if to remind you it is locked. This is annoying because when a toy is locked I want it to remain locked; i.e. to not buzz at all, until I chose to unlock it.

Once unlocked, pressing the small button activates the clitoral ears and sets them buzzing away. The happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator has a memory function, which means whichever setting you switched it off on will be the setting that it comes back on at next time. Personally, I find these memory functions annoying, as I usually want to start my masturbation session at a lower setting than I finished my last session. In this product it is particularly annoying because I always start at the lowest constant speed and usually finish at the second level constant speed. To get from the second level constant speed back to the lowest level I have to click the little button twelve times to scroll through all the bloody patterns until I’m back at what I want.

Seriously, I understand wanting to give the customer a diverse range of patterns to play with, but when you can only scroll through them in one direction I’d seriously appreciate having far less choice. I’m not going to describe all twelve settings for you, but briefly, there are three constant speeds, each faster than the last, and then nine patterns which are all different kinds of pulses (no smooth escalations). This in my opinion is far too many, but then again I’m someone who rarely uses the patterns. The vibrations are powerful but rather buzzy, and I did worry they might be too harsh for my clit, but the lowest constant speed actually suits it fine after a warm up. To turn off the clitoral bunny ears you just hold down the button for a few seconds.

Clicking the long top button turns on the rotating beaded shaft. Thankfully there are only three settings for the shaft, all the same circular rotation, each faster than the last. It has the same memory function but with only three settings to scroll through it is far less irritating. The head of the shaft has a nice G spot seeking bulbous hook to it, and it is this end piece that draws circles in the air as it rotates. About three inches from the tip of the shaft is a layer of beads. You can’t see them externally but you can feel them though the silicone. They rotate around in a circle surrounding the shaft when it is turned on. I’ve made a little video on instagram of the head rotating, which you can view here.

One thing I need to point out about the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator is that it is loud. Especially the rotating head part. If you need a motor to twist is circles like that I think there is no escaping that it will make a lot of noise. I mean it’s not ground-shakingly loud, but you could probably hear it through a closed door if you concentrated. If you need to be discreet when you use your sex toys, the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator is not the ideal product for you.

Using the Happy Rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator

Here’s the part where my jaw drops in genuine astonishment and I forgive the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator all of its minor faults. In use, my G-spot loves this toy! I’m not talking fun little orgasms either. I’m talking massive, cannot-control-my-loud-moaning, oh-god-I’m-going-to-come-again, screaming orgasms. The look of surprise on my face would have been fucking priceless if it hadn’t been for all the uncontrollable broad smiling. Let me explain.

The clitoral part acts, well, like a clitoral stimulator. It’s a bit on the buzzy side for me, but feels quite nice on the lowest setting. I lubed up the whole shaft and ears with a bit of water based lube, warmed up a little, then gently inserted the shaft into my vagina. It is fairly slim so went in without too much trouble. I was enjoying the clitoral vibes, when I thought I’d better switch on the shaft. To be honest I was dreading it, as my last experience with a beaded rabbit wasn’t a pleasant one.

To my surprise, the rotations of the head were absolutely perfect for my G-spot. They are strong and firm and the head kept pushing into my G spot over and over, pushing me towards orgasm in an intense way that felt completely out of my control. Only the slower two levels felt like this, the quickest speed was moving to fast to do the trick. The handle did rotate around on the outside of my vagina, so I held it down firmly, which added even more pressure to my G-spot. It felt incredible, like someone very firmly rubbing my G-spot again and again. I think that’s what surprised me so much; inside my vagina it didn’t feel like rotation at all, it felt like it kept pushing or rubbing over my g-spot in the most deliciously intense way.

The inevitable orgasm arrived quickly in an uncontrollable loud moan. It was a full-body intense explosion, that once complete, immediately started building up again for a second go, as the head kept the pressure up on my G spot and the ears added some stimulation to my clit. After the second orgasm the feeling was too overwhelming for me; I had to pull the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator out of my vagina, still rotating away, so that I could relax and bask in my afterglow.

Just a quick note to say I couldn’t really feel the rotating beads. I think they were supposed to stimulate the entrance to my vagina, and perhaps they do but I was too distracted by the magic things happening to my G-spot to notice. However, I don’t think they add much.

Clean up

Cleaning is easy because the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator is made from silicone which is a body safe non porus material, and it’s waterproof.  I have tested this function by dumping it in a sink full of water and giving it a good cleaning with antibacterial soap. It survived it’s dunking and is still fully functional.

Conclusion

I think the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator has, incredibly, hit the nail on the head for exactly what I need for G-spot orgasm. Rather than vibrate, it pushes into my G-spot with what happens to be the perfect kind of firm motion for an intense, fast and wonderful orgasm. I can achieve this using my firm dildos, which do the trick but not nearly as fast or intensely.  Sure, the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator does have flaws; it’s loud, it’s a bit buzzy, there are far too many patterns, and it’s lack of storage pouch is disappointing. However, I forgive it all of that for the sake of my G-spot and all the screaming orgasms I’ve been having. Happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator you have left me wonderfully surprised, and I’ll find you a lovely place to live right next to the bed.

If you’d like to buy your own happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator  you can find it here.

I’d like to thank Lovehoney for providing me with the happy rabbit beaded G-spot vibrator free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This in no way altered my opinion of the product.